If you've been around in my life long enough (or creeped my social media hard enough... You know who you are) you may or may not remember that I used to blog quite frequently. To be honest, I love writing and was disappointed in myself for falling out of the habit. But <insert 80 excuses here> I fell out of it and now seems like a good time to pick it back up - before I get asked that dreaded "so what is it that you like to do" question for the millionth time and have to scramble for an answer I'm an attempt to not sound like a boring person.
I've been feeling a little (to understate it) lost in my life lately (or since I was born... whatever). To be completely honest - I have NO idea what I want in life. Apparently it's all part of being a 20 something these days and that's fine. What I'm not so fine with is my inability to make a decision on my own. I love to self analyze and diagnose myself which has led me to finding out something else I love to do - have other people make my decisions for me. My life is a constant game of making suggestions to people, figuring out which ones they sound most excited about and jumping on that band wagon. It seems like less of a risk this way, when I can blame something that goes bad on someone else. Unfortunately, when I throw out these ideas I rarely think about the practical aspects of them until it's too late.
I feel like this post is leading up to me saying I'm not going to Newfoundland; this isn't true, nor is it not not true. I just have a handful of practical reasons (and a million and a half unpractical reasons) not to do so and I want to make sure I want this bad enough to counteract the reasons why I shouldn't go. Especially when I have people begging me to come home. I love the feeling of being wanted and I have a really hard time walking away from that. It's the reason why I work in management - because people need you. I just work in tourism for the sweet perks. Who wants a free bank account when you can travel on the cheap instead?
What have we established here today?
1) I'm going through a classic 20 something existential crisis.
2) I'm too scared to make my own decisions - likely for fear of failure.
3) I have a few ideas of what I'm doing with my life in a couple weeks but I couldn't tell you what way it will actually go at this point.
4) I babble more late at night and after I've had a drink with dinner
5) I miss blogging and I'm going to do it more often. I already feel better after officially establishing my thoughts. Bonus points for it making me sound like I have a cool hobby.
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